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Unyielding Joy

by trauma sounds

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1.
My last breath, spent on crying words Tethered to tears slaloming down my pained face And I don’t want anymore part of this This is crying out loud “this is where I belong” Shaking with my truth, “I will always love you” How bright you shine Reaching the furthest corners of the universe With your ardent light And I don’t know where I want to be But I know is that I need you The love i have to give will not die with me These words ring true, Burning within me These words ring true, “I will always love you”
2.
Anxiety looms over the foundation of my skull-sized home Lingering, it haunts me like a spell of impending death I will take your hand and follow you into the dark With you I am safe: wrapped in the embrace of an ardent light I have seen you and I, and with you I am happy As long as I am with you when this ends, I will be ok The noise that rots away in my mind will cease to grow one day Until the soil of this earth tastes my mortal shell, I will live with joy all the days of my life With you I am safe Joy will follow me all the days of my life I no longer need to be afraid
3.
4.
Spiders crawl on you On your shoes, and on me They spin their webs upon piano keys And so irresistibly, I teem For you, I could write one thousand symphonies As I watch you be carried off to sleep by some lonely ghost I ask myself, “How can I be as happy?” Starved for language and affection, My spirit is derelict and pines for salvation I celebrate myself, and sing myself For although I am a broken person I can find newness and joy in every day of my life I am scared of looking my inner child in the eyes and telling them, “I love you and it wasn’t your fault.”
5.
6.
Sweet, melancholic, pink catharsis I love you just the way you are We are machines Traversing our flesh and blood, Bone and dreams, through generations Of starspun bodily trauma That does not know the bounds Of any earthly love You are the sound Of lips caressing And arms holding warm bodies And every time I hear that sound My spirit blossoms So irresistibly My cold heart pines for your ardent sweetness This may be my last breath But I want you to know That you made it all worthwhile

about

Dedicated with love to Nic Castillon.

credits

released December 5, 2022

Cover and art by Tracey Sutliff.

Mastered by Will Killingsworth at Dead Air.

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trauma sounds Seattle, Washington

experiments in catharsis

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